It’s spring again! But am I the only one who thinks about narcissists when I see narcissi?
When I found out I was dealing with narcissists I was several years ahead before I really realized it. I went through it with different people and in different ways because just as you have multiple types of flowers you also have different types of narcissists (unfortunately) Fortunately, with working hard on myself and breaking away from them completely it has now given me the strength to not let their behavior control me anymore. It's usually not something that can be solved with one no and it can take an excruciating amount of time before you have completely disconnected from them because they won't let you go without a fight, obviously. But once that happens they will look for a new victim where they can start playing the "victim" and they will slowly forget about you, thank God!
Narcissists are actually very special creatures, they live in their own little world, lie and manipulate everything altogether and get away with it more because it is a "malfunction" in their one psychic part of their brain. Unfortunately, this has been recognized by doctors and all we can do is learn how to deal with them because they certainly aren't going to do it.
Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with narcissistic traits often believe they are superior to others and expect special treatment and attention. They may exaggerate their achievements or talents, and constantly seek validation and approval from others. Often they have a sense of entitlement and may exploit others to meet their own needs. They have difficulty forming genuine connections and relationships, as they are primarily focused on themselves. They may also struggle with handling criticism or rejection, reacting with anger or defensiveness. And all because they have low self-esteem and are insecure, so it's actually very exhausting for them and that's why they are often "sick" or "don't feel well." Some of the dangers of narcissism are:
Lack of empathy: Narcissists have a limited capacity for empathy and often disregard the feelings and needs of others even their own kids or mother. Therefore, never expect them to feel empathy for you because the more you start expecting it the less they will show it for you. They will never give it to you so save yourself the hassle.
Gaslighting: Narcissists often gaslight their victims by denying their abusive behavior and making them doubt their own reality. If they start doing this to you, then they know that you are on to them, so they will do everything they can to make you doubt and get away with what you called them on and before you know it, you have no idea where your problem was anymore. Stick to your own story and truth and don't go into it when they do. The nice thing about this is that they are the ones who get confused, it is not always nice because they can also get very angry so always watch out and make sure you are safe before you start doing mind tricks on them. Even if they deserve it, safety first!
Entitlement: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges. And no they have not, no one is entitled enough to decide over another what they may, can, think or feel or thinks he deserves something more as you do. Their sense of entitlement is truly astounding, as if the world owes them everything simply for existing. They can never admit fault or take responsibility for their actions, because in their eyes, they can do no wrong.
Psychological harm: Dealing with a narcissist can have profound psychological effects on their victims, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. And this one is perhaps the most dangerous of all because you can suffer from this for years, even if you have disconnected from the narcissist for years ago. The worst part of this is that he still lives happily in his bubble and you can go to the therapist weekly for a long time to process your suffered trauma. The good thing is that you rebuild yourself back to who you were and maybe come out even better and he stays where he was and has to continue to live his pathetic life while you start all over again and come out stronger than ever. And you deserve that and you don't have to feel guilty about that.
Narcissists are people you don't have to hang on to your whole life no matter how hard that may seem sometimes, there is going to be a point when you feel you are done with them and find the strength to not give them what they want and that is also one of the biggest secrets how to deal with narcissists, not giving them what they want. Because they only want your for one reason and that is for you to give what they want and they get angry when you don't because then it's not about them. They are never going to change in this and do yourself that favor and don't go hoping or dreaming that one day things will be different because that day that is never going to come.
Always stay with yourself and protect your own energy and the person you are because they break you and leave you in pieces. What helped me besides professional help is to read a lot about it because once I knew how their brain worked and kind of cracked the code I also knew how to disconnect from them. It takes a lot of courage and energy and it won't go without a fight but your own health is something that should have priority first with you at all times and nothing and no one should decide over you, no matter how "sweet" they are or how much they do for you, and that's one thing they use against you very often. If you don't feel good mentally in the relationship you have with that person then you don't have to do anything for him at all. Yourself that's important. So educate yourself and if you are in that kind of relationship get help and release yourself and maybe one day you laugh about, like, remember that one idiot back in the day who thought he could control me? Well, nope…
Namaste withs a attitude and take good care of yourself!